Husband Doesn T Want To Go On Family Vacation, How Is Roger Schaefer Doing 2021, Houses For Rent Private Owner Las Vegas Craigslist, Articles H

Fun for a night or two a year, too much otherwise. Theyre out there. It is a diverse and lively neighborhood with fantastic food choices and interesting shops. Im not so sure its abuse, to be honest. I dont know about gambling but partying? We all had a blast. Best of luck to you, LW. Sometimes, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas because it was incredibly boring, like three days of being in windowless conference rooms. Absolutely OP should seek out couples counseling, but if the husbands concerns are a reflection or enhancement of their religion or culture, just be really careful in vetting the counselor/therapist they choose to work with. It doesnt sound as though shes given him any reason to be so insecure. In a vacation environment totally devoid of any stress, I couldn't stand to be in my husband's company. They may not all work for you, but I hope that at least some will be helpful. My company had an annual meeting in Vegas a few years ago, that I wasnt important enough to attend, and I was crazy jealous. Ioverheard mymother-in-law say, Did she really have nowhere else togo. That doesnt strike me as weird at all. (Im glad to report that years later she is completely reasonable and sensible about these things and I love her dearly!). Thank you for sharing your story withus this iswhat weve come upwith: How would you react ifyou were inMayas shoes? Some things are objectively controlling behaviours though. We split it into 3 traveling days both directions so it would be 6 hours and we are estimating 8 hour days, but know it could be longer. And there, the answer is clear: you have to go. Yes, but even then, not a spouses authority to decide if hubby/wife can go on a trip, business or otherwise. So yeah, this isnt something that everyone feels, nor is it reasonable. Most of them. If you think Im the type of person who would cheat well Im not interested in spending time with you because you seem to have a pretty horrible opinion of me. If youre from a community where a spouse needs to sign off on business travel and letting you go is a real thing, I suggest couples counseling to explore that. Has he ever left the house? I totally went on a family trip to Vegas when I was like 12 or so, and there was plenty of family friendly stuff to do. (In 1989 there was 24-hour keno in practically every restaurant.). This is also what I pictured especially if he freaks out like this regularly-ish (every time she has a trip its a big ongoing issue for a chunk of time), his friends might have just learned to ride out the rant with general affirmative noises. Then I realized that he was not being irrational he was worried, and it was not a burden for me just to check in once in awhile, especially if I am on unfamiliar dark roads. But I do agree that its extremely possible the OPs husband is, consciously or unconsciously, skewing the results in his favor. I have anxiety disorder and I do worry excessively (one time to the point of a panic attack) when my husband travels for work, but thats on me to manage. Not because marriage counseling is likely to stop the abuse you are right, it wont. I was fine. Mom freaked out, but fortunately for me, my Dad was there to help and reassure her AND wed had enough family counseling after my teenage years that I knew how to set boundaries. Yeah, I saw that. I also worry about my spouse traveling without me. I absolutely dread this. I do have anxiety and PTSD from my days in the army. My husband never wants to go out and do things. I have to beg - Quora Thank you for sharing this. Counseling is legit, or ask him to come along. People who cheat assume everyone else will cheat, too. Would he demand she quit? Go on the trip, do not jeopardize that job, youll need it when you come to your senses and get rid of this guy. he needs to straighten hisstuffout. Out of curiosity do you know what the statistics in your area for domestic violence? My then-husband and I spent three days in Vegas with two other couples, and the most sinful thing we did was see a strip show that our group leader had accidentally bought us all tickets to. I hope they can find a solution. Nevada decriminalized prostitution at the state level and left it to the counties. Work trips tend to not be fun because you spend the whole time WORKING and have no time to go out and have fun. The difference is it wasnt that he didnt trust ME, or that he was worried about me getting drawn into some sinful situation. As a side note to all of this, I watched the original CSI religiously for about 8 years, and had never been to Vegas (no easy opportunity and not really my thing). At such time as we see abuse brought up as gratuitously as anxiety is, you might just have a point. Iam lost. I would idd consider flying. Your feigned hysteria of all caps and multiple exclamation points comes across like a rude caricature of people you disagree with. Not everything is family friendly (I.E. 6. Illogical or inappropriate behaviors like this are not always a sign of mental illness and mental illness is not an excuse to be controlling or abusive, EVER. Usluge graevinskih radova niskogradnje. I really dont care if you pitch a fit. Then disengage. Yeah, my parents clearly decided that it was a great place to take the kids nearly 20 years ago, and it was. When I said but no one else called their boyfriends he then he shifted to well, if you want to have a relationship like THEIRS I think it doesnt take much poking at this topic to find out if your spouse is anxious or controlling. Seriously, I grew up in Las Vegas. By letting him chaperone her once I worry that now hell believe this is reasonable and that he should chaperone all future work travel then all interactions with male colleagues, in public, etc. He was there for a conference, and she was there for a bachelorette party. Is this the only thing he gets so on-edge about? Most of them suffer from anxiety and sensory issues so they think Vegas sounds terrible in practice. But it wont be easy. If you have time to arrange a therapist, try to meet with several and then pick the one that is the best fit. Is this a relationship problem that could be remedied with counseling? You are agood person for trying tobond with your husbands family. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. Access to prostitutes, drugs, extramarital affairs, and excessive drinking and shenanigans is available pretty much in every town and city. I actually disagree. Ack. Its just Vegas (and Disney) are more designed to keep you inside their controlled, predictable corporate environment so as to better separate you from your money. I wear a light, carry a phone, and stay in my neighborhood where I know whats normal and whats not til the sun goes up. Thats the weirdest part of it to me! Youre obviously free to disagree, but I think its archaic and not okay. That was plenty for me, for the social experience.). Youve put your finger on one of the things bugging me most about this: the idea that the LW has no agency. Why would a husband not want to go anywhere with his wife? At work? It was BAD. husband doesn t want to go on family vacationlifetime guest pass policy. I know right? Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. I might go if it were for a show I wanted to see that I couldnt attend anywhere else, or if I had to go for work. I bet youll have a blast. Worrying about cheating, sex, drugs, and rock n roll, is worrying about what I will do. On the one hand, youd have to be very clear that hed be on his own while youre in all those meetings/conferences/etc and that you cant spend that time with him but, on the other hand, it may be worthwhile to relieve his stress and anxiety. Unless therapy can move him beyond this pathetic lack of respect for either her or confidence in his own worth, this is a nightmare of a lifetime to contemplate. You deserveit! People watching! What level of dealing with him can you actually do during these three days AND be able to focus on your work stuff? There is no amount of structuring my life that would have kept me from feeling anxious. There are people just, everywhere, even at 2 am. I do sympathize with what you are dealing with. When I go Im all about getting to as many different and awesome restaurants as humanly possible, and sitting by a pool with a book, when some of my friends go its about the nightlife, when my husband goes its about the sportsbook (this was my long way of saying that I agree with you). She should go and she should make therapy a minimal condition of continuing the marriage. I only want to know if hes going to be out so that Im not expecting him and can therefore do something else. I dont even know what city he is in sometimes just because he will tell me about five trips at once and I cannot remember which is what week. I wonder if the husband is insecure that the wife is the primary breadwinner and might be subconsciously trying to sab0toge her career. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. Okay. Yes!! He loves listening to me talk about my trips and my hobbies and adventures, and I love hearing him talk about how he spends hours painting toy soldiers. .Im pretty sure my m-in-l would do that. I think thats reasonable. I agree with the counseling suggestion. I care about your son's emotional health, the emotional damage he will suffer, when this emotional abuser of an ex tells his lies about you. My husband and I went for our honeymoon, we had so much fun just walking through all of the hotels and people-watching, plus saw some really great shows. You need a pro to help you guys sort out this tangle and see where to go from here in a way that doesnt actively sabotage your career because of his irrational behavior. But he didnt make a peep when we took her to Vegas for our wedding! I accidentally ended up at a naked sex drug party once, quite to my own embarrassment, but that was in Akron, Ohio. This advice is enabling his negative behaviors. Friend: Uh-huh. In this case, it sounds like OP is bearing the brunt of the disagreement and shes doing the lions share of being patient and accommodating the husband hes not doing much work to accommodate her needs. Its just boring to us because we arent into flashy lights and gambling. You could rent a car, though, and see lots of great places Hoover Dam, Boulder City, Red Rock Canyon, drive around Lake Mead, drive through Death Valley, go to Scottys Castle, just drive down to Jean and Primm and back for the heck of it (we did that several times when we lived there), Mt. Or the wife, for that matter. Vegas is changing a lot of its marketing these days to bill itself more as a family destination and/or more sophisticated and all that.